Written by DAVID KEYES

July 17 , 2005

With the release of the sixth "Harry Potter" book this past day, millions of us have been avidly combing the pages of J.K. Rowling's latest endeavor, finding out all about the big twists and turns that reportedly occupy Mr. Potter's latest year at Hogwarts.

The bigger twist, though: this week, on the eve of the book's release, the Vatican publicly condemned the popularity of the franchise, calling Harry Potter a story that "stunts the spiritual growth" of young Christians.

Right, and an institution that houses corrupt child molesters is gonna be better for a kid than reading up on a kid who lives in a world of magic. Give me a flippin' break.

Once again, religious consensus dictates that people are not allowed to live happy and productive lives unless they are catering to the strict abhorrent rules of church teachings. If the Pope or any number of religious figureheads are not wetting themselves over the fact that Harry Potter has a big young fanbase, they're talking about gays being Satanic, the importance of converting men and women of other faiths to Christianity, or the evil consequences of using contraception or birth control.

Here's a better question: why don't any of these religious fundamentalists ever discuss the fact that it is exactly that kind of thinking that has caused more death and dismay in this world than any disease or disaster ever recorded? Simple: because blind faith teaches you only to accept those that conform. There is no room for interpretation, only a bunch of stamped answers. So yes, of course they aren't going to talk about problems within their own value systems. They're oppressed, blinded, and ignorant to the fact that people in this world can safely have their own minds and find their own pleasures without directly demanding others to follow suit.

I have no problem with people who want to practice religion for the sake of being better people. I just have a problem with those who feel like their practices have to be imposed on everyone in this world in order for them to feel enlightened. Pricks.

Now if you will excuse me, Mr. Potter and I have a prior engagement that I must attend to.