Written by DAVID KEYES

February 08 , 2005

Ever have the kind of day where you just want to go out and hit something?--or, better yet, someBODY? Ever feel mischievous enough to do something really naughty? Of course you do. That's because you're human, and humans have their breaking points.

I just about hit mine earlier in the day, while I was working on a archiving project that I'm putting together to condense some of my stuff. The work, needless to say, was infuriating and messy. And I hate messes, too. So after about two or three hours, I was in the kind of mood where I just wanted to go out and slug somebody for just walking by.

Okay, yes, that's extreme. But that's hard emotion for ya: when you are in a majorly pissy mood, you can't help but feel yourself reaching for extremes. Most of those feelings, of course, are nothing more than just momentarily lapses in judgment -- and indeed, a government is in place just for that very reason: to keep you from going out there to do something that you'll probably regret later.

The trick is in channeling the anxiety into something a little more innocent. Some people use punching bags, others scream and throw things. Me? I just settle down on the computer, pop in a CD-Rom and start blowing things up or shooting down pixelated creatures with a machine gun (or something equally deadly).

Today's anxiety attack took me into the realm of "Grand Theft Auto." A fairly old game by PC standards, yes, but no less fun; there are virtually no limits to all the trouble you can get yourself into here. Blow up Police Bureaus, shoot down law enforcement, steal cars, mow down hordes of pedestrians. It's so cartoonishly violent that it's quite amusing -- and just as it works for a good side distraction, so too does it double as a great stress reliever.

Yeah yeah, we've heard that tired old argument for years now -- violent video games are dangerous for your mind, blah blah blah. Well POO to that, I say. If anything, voilent games are the exact reason why acts of violence in this country aren't HIGHER than they already are. More people actually have something to channel their anger into nowadays with them around, and thus aren't likely to get into as much trouble.

Viva la computer violence!