1998; Rated PG-13; 90 Minutes
Chris Farley: Bartholomew Hunt
Matthew Perry: Leslie Edwards
Eugene Levy: Guy Fontenot
Kevin Dunn: Hidalgo
Lisa Barbuscia: Shaquinna
Bokeem Woodbine: Jonah
Produced by Denise
Di Novi and Mary Kane; Directed by Christopher Guest;
Screenwritten by Mark Nutter, Tom Wolfe and Boyd
by DAVID KEYES
it ironic when a movie comedian dies and his last movie
is his worst? I donít know how many times I pondered that
belief at Almost Heroes, and Iím not sure if I could
even keep track of the times when it was called to my attention.
Every scene and every moment of Chris Farleyís last film
is done in absolutely inept taste. The movie is so unlaughable
and so corny that urges to rip the film to shreds came across
me as it reached the height of its introduction. Oh yes,
itís bad right from the start, and it continues to the point
where we are no longer watching a movie with Chris Farley
in it. We are watching a movie with total moronic background
in it, from the way the camera moves to the way the script
unleashes the pathetic jokes. No one could have saved it--no
one. It is one of the most phony excuses for comedy ever
me, itís not Farleyís fault. He was one of the funniest
and intelligent men of his time, and it was a shame to all
of us that he died last year. But why do these comedians
always die before their last movie is unleashed, and why
is the movie always rotten? Do the producers feel it necessary
to remove all the filmís decency after its star has been
laid to rest? Do the comedians realize their mistakes and
die on purpose before the world bashes them for it? Maybe
itís a coincidence, but if it is, the coincidence seems
rather bizarre, because itís occurred more than once.
could forget John Candyís last? Wagons East was one
of the most criticized films of the 1990s, and was brought
to theaters just shortly after he passed away on its set.
There are many arguments to debate this notion that death
comes from bad comedies, but if I didnít know any better,
Iíd say that this is some sort of supernatural twist of
Heroes sabotages history and brings us two dimwitted
men named Bartholomew Hunt and Leslie Edwards, who wish
to discover the northwest before Lewis and Clark do. They
sail on a ship full of pesky and rude crew mates, including
one who is in love with straw dolls. On their journey, which
from the very first minute is almost doomed to failure,
they encounter the occasional comedy bad guy, and here,
we have Hidalgo (Kevin Dunn), a Spanish explorer who has
a fetish for his own hair. The swashbuckling idiots trade
off battles with him and with others, all to the point where
Almost Heroes seems like a parody on Revolutionary
between scenes of battle and wrong-way journeys, the crew
offers us the comedy routine more than Farley does. Most
of the jokes are those youíd expect from an episode of Beavis
And Butthead, but here, they arenít funny, because they
are toned down by excess claptrap of boring camera shots
and pointless subplots, all of which end in some sort of
lame-brained joke that only perverts could appreciate.
imagine that these stories can make great movies, but thereís
nothing great about them here, because of incompetent dialogue,
stupid setups, and simply unfunny wisecracks. Thatís all
there is to it--itís not funny here because all the other
elements of the movie are bad as well.
Heroes has nothing good about it other than its title.
It is like a moment of embarrassment in a humanís life--foolish
and very forgettable. If itís some small consolation, at
least Farley didnít stick around long enough to see the
audience reaction to this movie.
1998, David Keyes, Cinemaphile.org.
Please e-mail the author here
if the above review contains any spelling or grammar mistakes.