Lost In Space
Rating -

Sci-Fi (US); 1998; Rated PG-13; 130 Minutes

Gary Oldman: Dr. Smith/Spider Smith
William Hurt: John Robinson
Matt LeBlanc: Don West
Mimi Rogers: Maureen Robinson
Heather Graham: Judy Robinson
Lacey Chabert: Penny Robinson
Jack Johnson: Will Robinson
Jared Harris: Older Will Robinson
Lennie James: Jeb Walker

Produced by Colin Brown, Chris Carreras, Alan Church, Michael De Luca,Carla Fry,Akiva Goldsman,Tim Hampton,Stephen Hopkins,Michael Ilitch Jr., Mark W. Koch,Sharon Lark, Mace Neufeld, Alison O'Brien, Rupert Porter, Julie Pye, Robert Rehme, Hugo Sands, Richard Saperstein and Kris Wiseman McIntyre; Directed by Stephen Hopkins; Screenwritten by Irwin Allen and Akiva Goldsman

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Written by DAVID KEYES

Space is not fun. Traveling through space is not fun. Watching planets explode in space is not fun. Space battles are not fun. Getting lost in space is not fun. It is not fun to watch "Swiss Family Robinson" being turned into a science fiction television series and movie. It is not fun watching people dumber than road kill on the screen reciting endlessly bad dialogue. It is not fun to sit through a science fiction film with bad special effects. It is not fun, period.

None of this, for one shred of a moment, has ever been fun, nor will it ever be. When people go to see a movie like this, or one of its pathetic clones like "Lost In Space," they stare at the screen like they're eyewitnesses at a disaster. It's one of those movies that makes "Spice World" look like an Oscar contender.

"Lost In Space" is a preposterous, incompetent bag of garbage: an eye-popping rip-off! Nothing could be more damaging to the careers of its actors Matt LeBlanc and William Hurt. In fact, if it were anymore damaging, it would have been made by someone who hated them.

"Lost In Space" was adapted from the hit television series of the 1960s of the same name, which, judging by this film, was rubbish to begin with. What most people don't realize, though, is that the concept of the original series was loosely based on the novel "Swiss Family Robinson," where a family became shipwrecked in the middle of nowhere and had to make tools and machines with what they had left in order to survive. In "Lost In Space," the family is on its way to a planet called Alpha Prime, and they become lost in space on a saucer-space ship, with a monkey-like alien being on board.

Truthfully, "Swiss Family Robinson" should not have been messed with in the first place. It was a story not made for any revisions: an immortal classic it was. "Lost In Space," however, is immortal trash.

This movie would have at had some redeeming value if the special effects and overall look of the film weren't so lousy. Special effects, nowadays, give away sci-fi films, and when there comes a film like "Lost In Space," where even those are bad, you begin to wonder if the producers of this film knew the meaning of the term "common sense." I guess you can say that their best efforts went into the closing credits.

This brings me to another point: I think this year will be the worst year for movies, just like I had predicted earlier this year. Usually, if the first true blockbuster of the year is bad, then something bad is going to happen to the ones later this year. It happened last year and the year before: I am so sick of it!

There's a movie out right now called "Deep Impact," and it's great. Go see that instead. At least there you won't feel like choking on popcorn.

1998, David Keyes, Cinemaphile.org. Please e-mail the author here if the above review contains any spelling or grammar mistakes.
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