Six Days, Seven Nights
Rating -

Adventure/Comedy (US); 1998; Rated PG-13; 104 Minutes

Harrison Ford: Quinn Harris
Anne Heche: Robin Monroe
Jacqueline Obradors: Anjelica
David Schwimmer: Frank Martin

Produced by Julie Bergman Sender, Roger Birnbaum, Wallis Nicita, and Ivan Reitman; Directed by Ivan Reitman; Screenwritten by Michael Browning

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Written by DAVID KEYES

"Six Days, Seven Nights" is a torpid, pathetic clone to "Romancing The Stone," a film made nearly 14 years ago. It has character attitude, a group of pirates in search of treasure, a dangerous wilderness, and people who fall in love when they are in danger--everything except a stone. The only difference, though, is that "Romancing The Stone," was intelligent, fun to watch, and very adventurous. "Six Days, Seven Nights," however, is dimwitted, aseptic, and not very fun.

The film is dead for the first hour, where characters seems to argue constantly, and in the last hour, we are sent on adventure scenes more boring than those of "Godzilla." This is the first script written by Michael Browning for a motion picture, and I'm sure the man can make a great script for a movie one day. For the time being, "Six Days, Seven Nights" represents his lack of experience.

This is also a failure on Ivan Reitman's part as well. His past film, "Father's Day," was an insult to the entire comedy genre. The film before that, "Junior," wasn't bad, but it bounced in theaters more than a basketball does at a Chicago Bulls game. Is Ivan Reitman trying to keep some sort of losing streak here? If so, he's managed it well.

The plot of the film is told with little enthusiasm. It involves a woman named Robin Monroe, played by Anne Heche, who is suddenly called off on a magazine deadline shortly after her and her fiancée, Frank Martin, start their vacation. This guy, played by David Schwimmer, proposed to her early on in the film, and she accepted. Afterwards, she convinced a cargo pilot to take her to Tahiti for her magazine shoot in his rusty and filthy cargo plane.

Then, in the middle of an electrical storm, the plane goes dead, and they both crash onto a south-seas island, where they must wait for help. In that time, love manages to spark between them, and in a brief moment, Robin realizes too late that she is already engaged to someone else.

This island they shack up on is filled with perilous dangers, which all occupy both characters in between romance and argument scenes. Judging from the landscape and the structure of this island they land on, however, this is actually a Hawaiian island, though the film doesn't set it up to be.

The characters, I imagine, must be spun-off from others in other movies and television shows. Ford's character, for example, is Quinn Harris, who acts almost exactly like Indiana Jones, both physically and verbally. If you don't believe me, listen closely to the dialogue: it sounds exactly like something that he would say. And when he fights these "pirates," you can't help but think that that IS Indiana Jones, because he throws similar punches.

As for Robin Monroe, she sounds like a Spice Girl with her blundering dialogue. At a few points, she asks Quinn several stupid questions, and he replies with a crude answer. Nearly every tense moment on the island is spent like this, with Monroe asking questions, and Quinn replying like a jerk.

The dialogue of these two characters is so repetitive and misconceived that it's easy to predict what the characters will say. Each time we hear a line come out of Harrison Ford's mouth, we feel sickened, because it's not those usual intelligent lines he often says in his films. He has the stupidest lines in the film, which I usually never expect when he's the star.

Anne Heche has the excellent performance here. After being noted the lesbian lover of Ellen DeGeneres, she proves that she can act like a normal, heterosexual woman on screen, especially during the love scenes. If Ford's character was the same, the film would have been at least watchable.

It's not like I have anything against this type of romance-adventure, because it really worked for me in "Romancing The Stone." Perhaps that is exactly the problem: it has worked before, so who needs to see it all again, and in such a similar way? Reitman may have been better off leaving the film on the cutting-room floor.

© 1998, David Keyes, Please e-mail the author here if the above review contains any spelling or grammar mistakes.
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