Spice World
Rating -

Documentary (UK); 1998; Rated PG; 93 Minutes

Melanie Brown: Scary Spice
Victoria Adams: Posh Spice
Melanie Chisholm: Sporty Spice
Emma Bunton: Baby Spice
Geri Halliwell: Ginger Spice
Richard E. Grant: Clifford
Claire Rushbrook: Deborah
Alan Cumming: Piers Cutherton-Smyth
Roger Moore: The Chief

Produced by Uri Fruchtmann,Kim Fuller, Simon Fuller, Peter McAleese and Barnaby Thompson; Directed by Bob Spiers; Screenwritten by Kim Fuller and Jamie Curtis

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Written by DAVID KEYES

"Spice World" is about as close as you can come to absolutely nothing and still manage to have a product to show on the screen. It's a limp and dreary experience involving five bratty women called the Spice Girls, who spend most of the movie in a bus talking about their careers while their driver is taking them to several places so they can sing to sold-out audiences.

These girls talk too much for their own good. By the time they do sing, they are so sidetracked from talking in the bus that they can't even successfully lip-synch their own, rotten music.

"Spice World" is no film; it's a nightmare which displays in full form that you don't need talent to be in a movie. People should take this film as an example of what not to do when you're making a motion picture. There's absolutely no plot to the film. All it does is take five boring women and put them in a room where they can talk about their boring lives. In fact, if I were a Spice Girl, and if this is how dull the life of a Spice Girl really is, I would immediately break up with them and change my career.

Frankly, I totally hated this movie! Hated the chatty Spice Girls, hated the stupid music, hated the ridiculous dialogue, hated everything about it. Hated it. I'm not trying to insult the Spice Girls, because I'm sure some people like them, and I imagine they do have a certain amount of talent. Unfortunately, they don't know how to use it in movies.

This film is a relapse in their career, and they will eventually recover from it. Hopefully, they'll recover faster than I will!

1998, David Keyes, Cinemaphile.org. Please e-mail the author here if the above review contains any spelling or grammar mistakes.
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