The Naked Gun
Rating -

Comedy (US); 1988; Rated PG-13; 85 Minutes

Leslie Nielsen: Lt. Frank Drebin
George Kennedy: Capt. Ed Hocken
Priscilla Presley: Jane Spencer
Ricardo Montalban: Vincent Ludwig
O.J. Simpson: Nordberg
Nancy Marchand: Mayor
John Houseman: Driving Instructor
Reggie Jackson: Right Fielder
Jeannette Charles: Queen Elizabeth II

Produced by Robert K. Weiss; Directed by David Zucker; Screenwritten by Jerry Zucker, Jim Abrahams, David Zucker and Pat Proft

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Written by DAVID KEYES

"The Naked Gun" is an inept sack of crap that is only of use to people who are looking for proof that hell does exist. It's excruciatingly rotten in every sense: not funny, not comical, not entertaining, not even fun to look at. It would be inaccurate to call it a comedy: it had the possibility to make people laugh, but I didn't even crack a smile. Actually, it made me sick. This is one of the most depressing experiences I have had in my life.

It stars Hollywood's moron Leslie Nielsen as a cop with a brain the size of his nose named Lt. Frank Drebin, who is hunting down a man named Vincent Ludwig, a man who has a plot to kill Queen Elizabeth at an American baseball game. While Drebin is working on the case, he meets an attractive woman named Jane Spencer, who is played by one of Hollywood's leading sluts, Priscilla Presley. She has a thing for cops, and every man on the police force wants her. She, however, only has an eye for Drebin, and he doesn't realize until later on that she was once Ludwig's assistant.

There are a lot of walk-ons in the movie, anywhere from Hollywood's murderer O.J. Simpson, to Hollywood's first-class jerk Reggie Jackson. All of the film's jokes are mostly aimed at Jim Carrey-type audiences, and there's a certain amount of stupidity in every line in the film.

Even the way the picture was directed is screwed up. For example, in one scene, where Queen Elizabeth is at the baseball game, she tosses a hot dog to a person beside her for no apparent reason. The man gives her a weird look, and the audience laughs. What were they laughing about anyway?

I don't know if I should blame the director or the writer for this outrage. Not only does the conception have a sense of ugliness, but the dialogue is so foolish and incompetent, it looks as if its stars have trouble keeping their lines straight. Now add this problem to the hundreds of others: the editing, the poor sound effects, the lame jokes, and the foolish character, which is worsened by Nielsen himself.

This man has the will-power to make people laugh, and I think the only time he actually tried to make me laugh here was when he was ripping off his clothes in front of Priscilla Presley. The camera then pulled away from them slowly as they kissed each other.

Take a close look at him. Now we know where his brains are.

1998, David Keyes, Please e-mail the author here if the above review contains any spelling or grammar mistakes.
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